....why oh why....

i got up at around 5 this morning, after waking up at 1.30, 3, 4, 4.30

i had to be up early to do a tesh shoot for my short film.
shows how awake i am ... hehe 'tesh shoot'

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We didn't get the place in St Andrews Gate, which i'm sure I should be more upset about, but you know...
God is in control, and everything that happens is designed to draw us closer to Him and to get us to rely more on Him and trust in Him, at least, this is my current revelation.

So i think for now the sights are firmly set on Forestville, which is the other side of college but i think a tad bit closer.

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Hopefully Kerry had her meeting with Paul yesterday and hopefully the CCTV budget is now set, which means hopefully they can offer me a job.

Its like 'God, here is good, this is my limit, the edge of my comfort zone, the edge of my sanity'
God: I think you can go a bit further
Me: i don't think i can.
God: yeah you can
Me: uh
God: yes
Me:uh
God: do you trust me...
Me: uh
Me: yeah why not...AAARGRGGHHHGHh

Its like leaning over a precipice.
its like being able to spell precipice...

frightening.

don't think about your bank balance
don't think about your bank balance
don't think about your bank balance

in God we trust... kinda...

i'm getting better.