1000 reads...

posted on myspace 23 may 2007

1000 reads...
Category: Life

i would like to sing a little song, but theres all these strategic cracks in my vocal string which forces me down to only the the harmonic key of Dm.

and not that Dm is evil or anything, but it does lead itself to sadness. and I am leading myself to sadness already so that doesn't help.



and i fall
and i cry
cry out for you

picking me up from the hole i've dug myself
and she doesn't care, doesn't know that he's

waiting for this
waiting for her
waiting for reasons to care about what he should
waiting for time
waiting for a season that never comes around

and i fall
and i cry
cry out for blood

finding a piece of the mystery closing around him
broken inside i don't know why i am

waiting for this
waiting for her
waiting for reasons to care about what I should
waiting for time
waiting for a season that never comes around

why has my sun fallen again
and passed around a second time
why is the moon so quiet
and so suggestive of a peace

why is feeling not a feeling that i want
why aren't you hearing (screaming)
why aren't you hearing (screaming)
why aren't you hearing

the voice inside me whipsers deep and whispers long
about a change about to take place, am I to change
the way I look into her eyes and simplify the reasons
for the gaze that does return and the arms
that wrap around my solitude and comfort all my demons..

and i fall (and i stand)
and i cry (and i scream)
cry out for you





- - - - - - - -



i don't know whats real sometimes and whats make believe.
reality has its ways of turning it all inside out and i'm left feeling like a washing machine, but its all ok because nothing really matters and the wounds will heal and lets face it they make us stronger.



- - - - -

i speak in parables because they listen without hearing, and see without understanding.

- - - - -

I walked outside this morning and the sun beat down upon my face. stupid sun, next time i'll show it whose boss.

i have dreams about destruction sometimes, blowing up buildings, general property destruction. then you wake up and theres a bill on your table and i'm thinking i'm sure i had insurance to cover that. but there it is on the bottom line in very fine print. "if you can read this you are still dreaming"

love the subconscious hints you get sometimes, like when you're about to walk into traffic and a little voice says "Oi!" followed a little later by 'what do you think you are doing' to which i always reply a mumbled response-like 'walking into traffic' anything to rid the boredom.. anything to stop the pain. haha pain. early morning, april 4th, shot rings out in a memphis sky, free at last, they took your life, they could not take your pride'

there's this warmth that comes sometimes, a healing warmth, then you wake up cold again and remind yourself that you're moving and that it will all be better soon.

turns out Jesus has a cat. nuts to all you dog lovers...

- - -

do you get that tapping noise on your window.. and you sit and ignore it for a while, but eventually it takes over and suddenly your ferreting around outside with your cellphone set to stun... errr. light... and a large towel, somehow thinking that if there is anyone there you could use your macgyver like skills to whip them into a frenzy and then hurl your cellphone at their heads cause lets face it, its a nokia and they are indestructable. some people find comments like that to be somewhat of a challenge. me i have a year and a half still to pay off. so i just wait inside for the trained possums to attack.

i think perhaps the intruder was a possum, as such he has been demoted by the league and will never be sent out of sugary-food missions again. one thing useful the dog does is keep the ranks of possums in line. and I guess for that all is forgiven. besides i'm supposed to forgive...

what is there to forgive or to be done. its all in my head and i'm thinking... i still haven't had a coffee and ****** is bring me one so i needed some music and then decided to check my email and blog, then i felt a sadness come over me, so i expressed it in dire need to relieve some pressure from this shift, then tried desperately to dig myself out of that little hole.

but its okay cause i'm still learning and the possums will be strangled i dont care about your stupid laws in your stupid country, where i come from they're a ..... menace.

stupid menace... menacing grin, you know theres trouble when that turns up.

so apparently arguements fuel the depth in relationships.

so me and ******* must have a great friendship then huh...

yeah you know what i mean.

im hoping for food at some stage, i have surveyed the cockroaches lying dead around the place and have decided not to take that particular trip, although there are some coffee beans in my car...



and rocks in my shoes... stupid shoes...



everything is feeling empty and i'm feeling empathic, so theres a creeping emptyness although i know its not real, iuts assumed. stupid ass...

but thats ok, i know there s a smiling face out there somewhere and someone broken, someone fixed, someone healing, someone bruised.

****** will be home soon then there will be coffee and I will go out into the lounge and caress the big wooden thing gently with a sledgehammer, don't worry kids, i have protection...

out into the madness i go head swinging, arms flailing, and the slight recognition that there was something i took for a cold and it may not have been the right thing...



colors.......ahhhh ohhhh....