What do normal people do on a saturday

Do you rest?
Do you play?
Do you sit and watch the world go away?

I know people who work, go to the beach.
sit and home and read.

some sit and wait dreading the work that is to come.

Theres something comforting about being able to get out of bed and go straight to work.

huge paradigm shift to get out of bed aimlessly, heading roughly in the direction of being require at work in 6 hours.

the whole day then feels like a bizarre countdown to the inevitable.

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we seek your face and trust your name, that all will see...

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theres a bit of rain outside. Its comforting i guess.
but then you sit down, alone, gazing out the window and wondering if theres something better. because when no one is around its easier to focus on work, but if you lose that focus, there is no one to catch you....

...or though i guess there is.

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sick of blaming others for his mistakes...

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sick of not knowing how or where or why...

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sick of living half-alive, half-dead, half-assed

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sick of aimlessly pursuing something out of sheer bloodimindedness.

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sick of looking at A and looking at B.

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sick of not knowing where to go and turn

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sick of endless discussions on nothing of any value

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sick of fighting and bitching and complaining

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sick of my desires

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sick of being poor

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sick of being alone

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sick of depressing music when i'm sad

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sick of happy music when i'm feeling great

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sick of not knowing

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sick of not knowing

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sick of not knowing

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sick of things i do to myself

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sick of things i do to others

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sick of christian platitudes when i just need some affection

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sick of hugs when i need a rod or staff

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sick of trying to be something else

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sick of trying to figure out who I am

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sick of being second guessed

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sick of never having the upper hand

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sick of things i should have said

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sick of not knowing why

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why do i ignore you when you're all i live for.
why do i forget you when you are the strength that holds me up
why do i not speak to you when you're the reason for it all.

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we seek your face and trust your name that all will see our God reigns...