...scary old man...

posted on myspace 21 june 2007



...scary old man...
Current mood: ecstatic
Category: Pets and Animals

...this one day i was walking home from the shop and there was an old man standing by the side of the road.he looked mean. kinda like my teacher...


- - - - -

then one day your head explodes and thunders in your ear..

you shout but no one seems to hear..

- - - - -

you smile sweetly and lean over me, whispering delights as i twirl a straw around my clouded glass.
i inhale deeply of your fragrance and listen to the gentle echo of your voice.
you tell me of far off things, of beautiul places and illumination.
i drag my glass up, drain a little, then turn towards you. your nose meets mine, we dance a little, you breathe in slightly. I gaze into your eyes, a fountain, a geyser, an abyss. I am drawn in. Frozen like so much ice and concrete, this moment and saturation. an instinct shrouded by mystical perfume, it reaches up through my pores; into my mind, screaming at me GO AHEAD AND KISS ME, i wait, desperate for the contact but still slightly content to simply stay motionless. i tickle of fear reaches around my throat, caressing my larynx, scratching my wind pipe, it grabs suddenly and pulls...

darkness, theres a dripping, it feels like torture, but it smells like you. you you and you. a smell i can't ignore, can't forget, it reaches down past my lungs and drags at my heart, pulling me up and over, wrestling me free, i can see the darkness but i can't feel it for your touch has burned my skin to a crisp, all thats left is a memory that you were here once and you were with me. i hear noises, but they frighten me with thoughts i can't articulate and feelings i musn't hide from.
Your voice it scatters all my thoughts upon the breeze and loosens the chains which bind me in this place and threaten me with exposure should i dare to unveil what i have kept close to me.


- - - - -

the man wasn't there anymore, but i didn't feel bad cos he scared me, and i wanted him to go away, wanted him to leave me alone, leave us all alone. alone for the birds on the breeze, and watching for pigs on the wing....

...wash me in blood and let me be, the first-born of the dead...

posted on myspace 11 june 2007



...wash me in blood and let me be, the first-born of the dead...
Current mood: chipper
Category: Parties and Nightlife

A crowned rider with arrows and bow
A red rider with a great firey sword
Flames come from the one called death
Horror and apocalypse follows

Ride, won't you four horsemen ride again
Before this kingdom is blown to kingdom come
I hold fast to what I believe
Till I see my name in stone

Blessed are the dead

- "Blessed are the dead" Dave Mustaine (Megadeth)


- - - - -

sometimes i stop and feel ill, my head hurts and the world starts shaking...

then you watch reality crumble away like so many broken pieces of glass. you pull your limbs towards yourself and graple and anything you can feel, and start to recognise the familiar pain of the blood spilt on the floor.

but theres always a pin prick from below, a solid shaft of heat and fire which burns away the blood and washes away my tears.

and theres a sleeping girl whos smiling and oh so understated...

- - - - -

but the feeling remains that i'm drowning under silence and the bespeakled nature of the clouds above betray a truth i can't ignore. That time set by the heavens is about to set its course upon a world scant aware of its nature.

she is fair and oh so fine and sometimes i wonder if i can lie here forever sitting under her grace, the faint whisper of her hair and the enunciation of her breath belies the volumes underneath her skin. still i sit here and time ignores me subtley before turning to attack for I have cursed and screamed at its rules for far too long and it can no longer take the abuse. set beneath a starry sky the waves gently lapping against the side with their echo relfecting cursively upon my gentle bliss.

Her dark eyes and dark hair and dark mystery beneath the layers of her mind hides itself and subtely hints at something more; torturing every breath that stains the memory that i must go and leave and walk away and never return to the sanctity I have stolen.

But to watch is to stare and glare and regail myself with her beauty. Her hand reaches up and grasps my chin, bare and clean it slivers generously under her touch...

.. ITS TOO LATE NOW RIDE ON FOR I HAVE STOLEN AND CANT GIVE BACK WHAT WASNT MINE AND I SHALL PAY OH HOW I SHALL PAY FOR MY IGNORANCE AND MY PLATITUDES AND THE FRIGHTENING FEELING THAT SOMETHING SOMEWHERE KNOWS AND WANTS TO AVENGE ITSELF UPON ME PULLING ME UNDER AND BEATING ME BEATING ME DOWN TO THE GROUND>>>

whipsers return and they reach up and grab and bite and scream at me for my undue influence and a sacrifice I never made, a lie i never told. It does not matter for I am falling into infinity; yet why has the noise left me awake and wondering what the score is and where I fell away into these gentlescenes from a memory that isn't mine and wasn't mine and should have been left behind in the agony in which it was birthed.

All i shall look forward to is when dream and day unite and hustle up the change of seasons that will leave me TRAPPED INSIDE THIS>>>>>>>>> TRAPPED INSIDE THIS>>>>>>>> TRAPPED INSIDE THIS>>>>>>>>>>> TRAPPED INSIDE THIS>>>>>>>>>>

bleed away my love
dont wait for the water to change into wine
for its been so long since I kissed you
and i drift away from you.

- - - - -

parting is such sweet sorrow.

- - - - -

wander, oh i wander amongst the stars. all is quiet and finally free from all the love i once new.
theres an echo somewhere but if i do ignore it shall ignore and find another victim for its mindless stupidity. for a battle call is sounded and the mind it has been founded on a truth i can't ignore or let go of to finally find that its all out there and partly in here and hiding from what it should trust...

the substance of the question put to me of shall i tell the truth or shall i tell a truth or should the truth simply come out in whatever form it may, and i talk about my girlfriend and you ask me who she is and I tell you I don't have one.. and you ask whose body I dragged in here and carved up and i tell you its not there and i'm not here and you're not here and this is a construct and a fantasy but YOU DON'T BELIEVE ME AND YOU EXPECT ME TO TALK ABOUT THE TRUTH AS IF YOU CAN EVER KNOW THE TRUTH BUT NO DAMMIT YOU WILL NEVER KNOW HOW I FEEL AND YOU WILL NEVER KNOW WHAT ACTUALLY HAPPENS FOR IT ACTUALLY DOESN'T HAPPEN AND I FORCE MYSELF TO CONSTRUCT TO CREATE TO REALLY LIVE inside these demands of yours because you refuse to move along and instead demand something you can share and talk about and live a little vicariously through me but i will go places you don't want to and i will talk of things that you won't see and spend my life in constant motion circling around you with little shapes of trees and ghosts and children playing and you don't belong here and I DONT BELONG HERE I DONT BELONG HERE I DONT BELONG HERE, wrapped up in your skull, shaking my fist and screaming out your name but you won't hear me you can't hear me locked in a cage of your own making demanding that i tell you what is real and what is fake... the only response you'll ever get is one of bile and filth for the contempt you have shown me with the test that stumped them all...

- - -

silence beckons through the mist

- - -

Take me or leave me, don't have to believe me
All the words I have to say, all the songs that fly away
Take me or leave me, believe me good will come

It's OK, you know I'll live to fight another day
It's OK, you know I'll live to find another way

She's as pretty as hell and her eyes have no home
The beauty has run from your face
Such beauty that hung from your face
And if you would drink this wine you'll shine

It's OK, you know I'll live to fight another day
It's OK, you know I'll live to find the words to say
It's OK, you know I'll live to find another way
And if you would give me holy wine, I'll shine

Will you come to me like
A Summers Day
I will sing again

Written by Martin Smith/Stuart Garrard ©1999 Curious? Music UK

i saw a horse today...

posted on myspace 31 may 2007

i saw a horse today...
Category: Pets and Animals

running around in circles, i don't know where he was going... i assumed he was a he.

but he was going, and going pretty fast.... at least i thought so... but i guess fast is only as fast as you think it is...
and no one is as fast as you...


i had a dream about running once... one of those endless dreams, where you wake up and you still feel like you're running half an hour later. you sit down in the chair and start panting because of the exercise and your flatmate asks, why are you panting... you just got up?

after weeks of nothing and zip and nada even getting up takes it out of you...

this morning i got up and walked out of the front door, stupid lawn mower, ruining a perfectly good drunken saunter towards the letterbox. paper... not there, stupid mail boy. i haven't seen our daily paper all week.

saunter back inside, collapse on arm chair, dressing gown falls open revealing boxer shorts and protruding stomach region. flick on tv.

crap. crap. crap. crap... foreign crap...amateur crap...

you know that feeling that you really should be doing something but in fact you have nothing to do, the lawn is mowed, the clothes are drying, assessments are all done. girlfriend's at work...

what is a man to do. i resumed saunter pace, this time with a raggedy shirt and pants on; roughly in the direction of the corner convienience store. i picked up a bread roll and dragged it to the counter..

'ooo noo, they not gewd... fresh batch sewn'

frustrated i return the crusty roll and head back to the flat.

- - - - -

mum and aunt and uncle were yelling tonight, i don't know what about... but im sure it means no pudding for me, and more stress for dad...

dad works really hard, he has two jobs and he spends time with us, hes the best...

mum and i talk loud a lot, i dont think she hears me some times... i dont think she knows what i am saying... but thats ok i guess, cause she does heaps for us, and doesn't get a lot of hugs....

i think hugs are like money... the more hugs you get the more money you have. or maybe its the more hugs you give, i dunno.

- -

turns out i did get desert, i wasn't expecting it after the yelling before. i had to eat it in my room, but its better than having none, but i did want to watch tv tonight so its not a perfect ending. i should read my book, i dont want to but i should. its about this guy, well. lots of guys and they do all this stuff with swords and spears and sheilds. there are girls too, but they dont do stuff with swords or anything. my friend alice, she says the book is biassd, i dont know what that means but she said its about the fact that she wants to play with swords and she thinks the book is wrong because in the book girls dont play with swords. i think she is wrong. she doesn't do sword stuff good... and her sword is ugly.

but tomorrow we are going to the park, and i love this park cause it has a big fountain in the middle with painted pictures on the inside of the fountain, so you can see fish and stuff as your playing...

- - - - -

its been a long day and sandy has decided that she is going to go straight to bed tonight. she is too tired and doesn't want to be up late, even though she's special and needs to stay up late.
thats what dad says anyway...

- - -

he is seated, calm, serene. the sun washes over his forehead, caked in a red substance of some sort. he waits for a few moments before getting up and walking over to the basin, it is filled with red. he gently places his hands in the red, cups it and brings it up; covering his face in it.

- - -

why does it hurt so much...

- - -

blood drips down his neck and makes its way down his back and legs before starting a pool at his feet

- - -

DONT YOU ******* TOUCH ME

- - -

cleansing..

- - -

DONT YOU DARE TOUCH HER

- - -

i don't really feel anything anymore, not since... then...

sometimes in the mirror i see something, a fleeting glimpse, a flicker of light... but it quickly fades... replaced with the clouds...

- - -
why doesn't it shine anymore... why its got no power

- - -

i sat in the shower last night and just let the water run over me, i felt at peace, calm for the first time in years. part of me could feel the power bill coming on, the other needed to stay there to feel safe.

- - -

i walked outside this morning, i had heard thunderclouds before, and expected rain. But the sun was beginning to shine again; little bits of light flickering off leaves and stones. i walked out to the road and just watched; looking back and forward.

i saw someone drudge out and reach their letterbox, reaching for it, leaning on it. she was smoking a cigarette, or rather holding one securely in the corner of her mouth, wisps of smoke curling through her long hair. I waved. she didn't see. i cry out 'good morning' and wave, a grand beaming smile... she looks up, sees me; looks up and down the street, looks back at me. removes the cigarette and smiles back. a little wave. it is a start. i watch her hobble back; she looks in pain on one side.

- -

some seed was planted amongst thorns, which leeched all the moisture and choked the seed.

some horses are made into glue.

some people are glue, they fit people together like jigsaw puzzles and then walk away marvelling at what they have done. though they tend to be blindfolded most of the time and aren't really putting matching pieces together, more forcing two odd shaped bits into unholy covenant.

words to say, to say what all i mean.

and where does it start, and where does it seem to matter to those around me...

1000 reads...

posted on myspace 23 may 2007

1000 reads...
Category: Life

i would like to sing a little song, but theres all these strategic cracks in my vocal string which forces me down to only the the harmonic key of Dm.

and not that Dm is evil or anything, but it does lead itself to sadness. and I am leading myself to sadness already so that doesn't help.



and i fall
and i cry
cry out for you

picking me up from the hole i've dug myself
and she doesn't care, doesn't know that he's

waiting for this
waiting for her
waiting for reasons to care about what he should
waiting for time
waiting for a season that never comes around

and i fall
and i cry
cry out for blood

finding a piece of the mystery closing around him
broken inside i don't know why i am

waiting for this
waiting for her
waiting for reasons to care about what I should
waiting for time
waiting for a season that never comes around

why has my sun fallen again
and passed around a second time
why is the moon so quiet
and so suggestive of a peace

why is feeling not a feeling that i want
why aren't you hearing (screaming)
why aren't you hearing (screaming)
why aren't you hearing

the voice inside me whipsers deep and whispers long
about a change about to take place, am I to change
the way I look into her eyes and simplify the reasons
for the gaze that does return and the arms
that wrap around my solitude and comfort all my demons..

and i fall (and i stand)
and i cry (and i scream)
cry out for you





- - - - - - - -



i don't know whats real sometimes and whats make believe.
reality has its ways of turning it all inside out and i'm left feeling like a washing machine, but its all ok because nothing really matters and the wounds will heal and lets face it they make us stronger.



- - - - -

i speak in parables because they listen without hearing, and see without understanding.

- - - - -

I walked outside this morning and the sun beat down upon my face. stupid sun, next time i'll show it whose boss.

i have dreams about destruction sometimes, blowing up buildings, general property destruction. then you wake up and theres a bill on your table and i'm thinking i'm sure i had insurance to cover that. but there it is on the bottom line in very fine print. "if you can read this you are still dreaming"

love the subconscious hints you get sometimes, like when you're about to walk into traffic and a little voice says "Oi!" followed a little later by 'what do you think you are doing' to which i always reply a mumbled response-like 'walking into traffic' anything to rid the boredom.. anything to stop the pain. haha pain. early morning, april 4th, shot rings out in a memphis sky, free at last, they took your life, they could not take your pride'

there's this warmth that comes sometimes, a healing warmth, then you wake up cold again and remind yourself that you're moving and that it will all be better soon.

turns out Jesus has a cat. nuts to all you dog lovers...

- - -

do you get that tapping noise on your window.. and you sit and ignore it for a while, but eventually it takes over and suddenly your ferreting around outside with your cellphone set to stun... errr. light... and a large towel, somehow thinking that if there is anyone there you could use your macgyver like skills to whip them into a frenzy and then hurl your cellphone at their heads cause lets face it, its a nokia and they are indestructable. some people find comments like that to be somewhat of a challenge. me i have a year and a half still to pay off. so i just wait inside for the trained possums to attack.

i think perhaps the intruder was a possum, as such he has been demoted by the league and will never be sent out of sugary-food missions again. one thing useful the dog does is keep the ranks of possums in line. and I guess for that all is forgiven. besides i'm supposed to forgive...

what is there to forgive or to be done. its all in my head and i'm thinking... i still haven't had a coffee and ****** is bring me one so i needed some music and then decided to check my email and blog, then i felt a sadness come over me, so i expressed it in dire need to relieve some pressure from this shift, then tried desperately to dig myself out of that little hole.

but its okay cause i'm still learning and the possums will be strangled i dont care about your stupid laws in your stupid country, where i come from they're a ..... menace.

stupid menace... menacing grin, you know theres trouble when that turns up.

so apparently arguements fuel the depth in relationships.

so me and ******* must have a great friendship then huh...

yeah you know what i mean.

im hoping for food at some stage, i have surveyed the cockroaches lying dead around the place and have decided not to take that particular trip, although there are some coffee beans in my car...



and rocks in my shoes... stupid shoes...



everything is feeling empty and i'm feeling empathic, so theres a creeping emptyness although i know its not real, iuts assumed. stupid ass...

but thats ok, i know there s a smiling face out there somewhere and someone broken, someone fixed, someone healing, someone bruised.

****** will be home soon then there will be coffee and I will go out into the lounge and caress the big wooden thing gently with a sledgehammer, don't worry kids, i have protection...

out into the madness i go head swinging, arms flailing, and the slight recognition that there was something i took for a cold and it may not have been the right thing...



colors.......ahhhh ohhhh....

light

posted on myspace 21 may 2007



light
Category: Parties and Nightlife

so its dark, and im alone...

the faint sound of thunder in the distance... there is a smell of something rotten wafting across my path.

i look up in time to witness the suicide of a streetlamp, this is the second time this has happened tonight. i do not feel that i am dragging anything metaphysical that might be collapsing the world around these poor creatures, but i am quite sure that they will stay dead for quite some time.

across the street cars career past, or idle. I have crossed the street and found myself at a store, it has a large glass window with which I find myself obsessed. I can see my reflection and the more I look, the more I wanna look. I dont see myself, i see something else.

Then there is movement, quick. a girl appears at my side, she looks at herself in the window, then turns to look at me, i turn also. but find nothing. There is no one. I turn back to the window and there she is staring at me. She starts to glow, the light coming from her eyes is so blinding, yet I stare and stare and fall. crumpled to the ground, but she reaches out and picks me up, holding me up. yet still all i see is the reflection. Now standing, she lets go of me and steps back before vanishing into light. darkness falls. I turn, back to the window, and start running...

let them eat cake...

posted on 18 may 2007



let them eat cake...

so once my mum made me a race car cake, but it crashed into the barrier and exploded, i think the same driver later destroyed a volcano cake... these things happen...

i ran into a volcano once... it was like falling and falling and falling and then i woke up drenced it clammy sweat soaked sheets... then i woke up again and was safe and dry...

hmmm...

...do cooties get transferred just by looks. i think i saw a girl look at a guy once and then he started screaming and scratching himself all over... then another time i felt an itching on my arm, so i looked up and around and... i was in a maths lecture... who would have guessed, i dont think the lecturer was female but who can tell sometimes...

so i saw this cake the other night and it was amazing and huge and so i just stared at it, into it, fathoming its mysteries.. gazing into its complexities...

turns out the cake had depth... and layers..

cooties...

posted on myspace 15 may 2007



cooties...

a continuation of the cooties debarcle..

-----

see the problem is that there is this girl right, and you're JUST friends right, then for no apparent reason it gets all complicated. and one thing leads to another...

those stupid things and their stupid leadings, and before you know it, this girl is like some sort of virus that invades waking and non-waking moments...

maybe you could just have a thing and it not lead to anything, but of course we don't live in that kinda world, instead we have stupid causality...

so then you think about this girl all the time and then something horrible happens and suddenly everything hurts for like 6 days or 6 weeks or 6 months... wtf is with that..

which leads us right back to this girl whose JUST friends right, then for no apparent reason it all gets complicated, and one thing leads to another.

and then its like some sort of see haw, or even a see saw where both parties are desparately trying to keep the thing level, none of this up/down/up/down $#!T.... so then theres this tension and....

...wait a minute... i like tension... damn liking tension...

stupid tension giving reason to live and breath in my bones..

ah sweet bones.
dem bones dem bones dem dry bones...

someone once thought it would be cool to have a xylophone made out of human bones... cool, but creepy... like insects i guess... or blood... oozing blood.

how do i keep getting back to blood.


"So basically i want to cover you with blood, what do you think..."


...so theres this tension, and it kinda feels unresolved, which is really exactly what tension is.
and all the effort seems to be in keeping it unresolved as it hurtles its way toward the impending doom that we like to call a relationship.

really i mean what kind of twisted freak would think that you could get two totally selfish individuals to join together as one. actually i guess its a really good idea and its just a pity about the selfish thing.

lyics from pagan poetry by bjork

"I love him

This time : I'm gonna keep me to myself
This time : I'm gonna keep my all to myself

She loves him

But he makes me want to hand myself over

She loves him[repeat this line ad nauseum]"

[posted a few hours later]

my head hurts...

feeling tired and run down and my head hurts, and i have to tidy my room or there will be no pudding...

here fushy fushy...

posted on myspace 12 may 2007



here fushy fushy...
Category: Food and Restaurants

I had a goldfish once, it was goldy... more orange..

it had a little tank which it swam around, and a little castle inside the tank for it to bang its head on. the thing with my goldfish is it would bang its head and then a few seconds later forget that it hurt and go for it again, it was like a lemming fish, or at the very least a fish with suicidal tendencies...

whatever they are...

fush

posted on myspace 12 may 2007

fush

it was like this one time when we went fishing with some friends, and we were out all morning, like 2 hours... and we caught nothing, then the sun rose and we were tired so we decided to sing to the fish, but did this help us catch any..no

the bitch....

posted on myspace 11 may 2007

the bitch....

some question has been assigned regarding the legitamacy of my hatred for dogs.
I dont hate dogs. i hate dog-smell.

its not that i hate been licked on the face its just that i know what else she licks with that tongue...

i remember one time a jack russell, it jumped pretty high... yeah... but it was on the other sider of the fence, so every fewe seconds its head and part of its body would appear above the fence, before disappearing. i was amazed at its consistency and level of genuine endurance. so impressed that i forgot about the simple things in life, like homework and television and just sat there transfixed by this dog. then it occured to me... is that the dog bouncing, or is it some sort of springy trampy thingy. i had heard that these types of dogs were real jumpers, but had never experienced such awe personally. so eventually after mulling it over i got up and went up to the fence, again watching the dog, up, down, up, down, up down...

then i peered over the fence. sure enough... one of those little gym tramps, you know, the ones that hang around the entrance of fitness first holding up placards reading 'membership unfairly revoked' or 'sexist fascists inside'

i should probably stop banging on about sexist fascists as well. i mean they have feelings too right... feelings of betrayl and fear, desperation and lonliness...

that reminds me of this one time, i was on a stairwell and I was looking for my folks, and i had no idea where they were, so i run up the stairwell and searched all the rooms, and then ran back down the stair well and searched everywhere, and then returned back to the stairwell, i could hear voices but i couldn't find them... wait maybe that was a nightmare... in sheeps clothing..

i used to have a sheep... it died,...


some people say that death is where old people go. i wonder if the food is nice.
i'll go most places providing the food is nice. or if there is a good band. or good company...

what makes a good band. my friend suggests the trombone player. they are certainly at the bottom end of the scale...

b.

why you should subscribe to my blog...

posted on myspace 11 May 2007

why you should subscribe to my blog...

because, duh, otherwise you have to visit my page every week to know whether i have written anything of any value.

- - -

So tonight i'm going out which is kinda scary cos i guess i don't get out a lot, except to go to the car and then to college/work/meet people, although the third one doesn't really count cos its part of the first two, but this time i am going out out, like out, for dinner. a group of us people who don't get out a lot decided to go out together, which could i guess be alot of fun.

our dog is still scary... today i roped it to the table so it wouldn't run away, it runs away sometimes and then neighbours bring it back, turns out the dog goes a visiting.. i guess there isn't a lot to do as a dog, other than sniffing butts and rolling in the grass, and eating biscuits, so many damn biscuits...

i would hate to live off biscuits, of course if they made meat biscuits, maybe that would be different. or beer biscuits... wait how does that even work.

this one time i walked out side and poured out a beer onto the concrete jsut to watch it dribble away... but you just can't do that with beer, oh beer elixir of life, drink of the gods. ye gods.

i had a dream about my friend last night, i remembered it when i woke up and got excited that i had remembered it, and was going to tell my friend when i saw her but then she wasn't at college today and i forgot what the dream was about, i remember it being happy though, i'm having happy dreams at the moment... i did have one scary dream though. apparently it was really scary, but i wasn't a fraid... that was weird./..

like when you're walking down the street and suddenly a 12 foot spider comes out from behind a rock and comes after you, thats scary, but imagine standing there and staring at it, and you're not scared... thats what its like... i should be really afraid, but i'm not... why is that...

sometimes i go out side and feel scared of everything, like spiders and dogs and other people, but most people seem to be really nice, and mostly confused. everyone seems confused, perhaps i should stop talking to them in foreign tongues, although i am making the effort to learn someone's language, well not really learn it but come up with sweet things to say.. you know sweet things like 'hey that chicken looks really good, can i have some?' or "have you seen my lightsaber"...

mmm chicken... imagine carving a chicken with a lightsaber... imagine... just chicken. i had chicken today. it was moist, there is nothing worse than non-moiust chicken, dry chicken... still if there was a dry chicken doing stand-up comedy, i'd laugh.. i like dry comedy, i don;t know why, maybe caose my dad is dry...
not like dried up... and maybe he's actually having a shower or swimming right now, and thats the end of that little dry-spell.

*coughs*

i;'ve had this little cough the last few days, it started off really cute and small, and i'm hoping one day that it will leave home and be a big cough with lots of friends and a beautiful wife and gorgeous cute little coughs of its own.

i had a furball once but it left cause i wouldn't take it for walks... turns out it wanted to see the world.

some people think there is a moon in my picture. i dont know what they are thinking, cos if that was the moon, then it would be too close to my head...

still hoping for some people to clear up the cootie situation, although i did smell a girls hair the other day, hey wait, maybe thats where the little cough came from.

her hair smelled nice though.
warm fuzzy nice...

remember apples, remember what they smell like? me neither...

sometimes i like to stand on a bridge and watch water flow underneath the bridge, you feel like you're going in all directions, travelling the speed of something fast, but then you realise you're going nowhere, so you leave the bridge and goto a cd store, beacuse i figure if you're gonna go nowhere fast then you better have some good tunes to listen to on the way.

anyway i have to go now, i should have a shower and scratch my back a little and think of pretty thigns. why? i don't know... stupid glass cage of emotions...

i think it would be neat to drive down the wrong side of the road sometime... you know to watch cars whooshing past and honking their horns, it would feel like you were going at light speed or warp speed or something similary science ficitony... why can't science fiction be science fact, then meals wouldn't take as long...

grrrrr

b.

you know what, i should write a blog

posted on myspace 19 April 2007

- - - - -



you know what? i should write a blog...
Current mood: exanimate
Category: Dreams and the Supernatural

oooo dreams and the supernatural..



dreams are scary, even the happy ones. cause you're lying there sleeping, having this wonderful amazing dream, and it probably involves something or someone special and happiness, then you wake up and go 'wow, that was scary... i almost believed that was real'.

you know what else is scary, insects, their oh so tiny and yet their legs go ape-sh..., seriously if we moved around as fast as insects you'd be standing outside looking off in the distance.. 'hey that looks like....' *BAM* and you're friend has already arrived, and its scary enough having people turn up at your doorstep but when they turn up really quickly, that would be really scary... i think.



you know what else is scary... demons. You're sitting their minding your own business, then this great big snorting, smoking, bulging, giant of an animal drags its carcass along the ground and attaches itself to you... and starts telling you bad stuff about yourself... thats scary.



scary is when the dog jumps up and its paws land around about your tummy-button region, but you've got a bad feeling that the dog is gonna lose its footing and probably smack you in the 'doozy' on their way back to the ground.



supernatural.

so thats like scary... right. cos its like super-natural. its better than natural, bigger, longer, uncut. but probably with less swearing. so supernatural is scary because its so much more than you can deal with. I mean its one thing to argue about where you came from and evolution and apes and creation and god. but supernatural... there aren't even any good explanations, its just out there... like moulder and scully, out there... like stars.... out there... like the dog.



i have a bizarre relationship with ------'s dog, she wants constant attention, i provide very little. she wants a walk, i dont have time for a walk. she wants cuddles... i think she smells... thats whats scary, when the dog licks you and you aren't quite sure yet how bad it is gonna smell, it could be regular bad-dog-smell, or it could be supernatural-bad-dog-smell, which we know from a previous paragraph is pretty scary, even just to think about.



seriously i had a dream i was a stand up comic, and it wasn't one of those 'underpants' dreams, where you're on stage in front of everyone wearing underpants and then suddenly you look down and realise the underpants situation and kinda do the freak out thing.....*coughs*.... i was on stage, i told jokes, people laughed, i told them to try the lamb, they laughed harder, that was it... actually maybe it wasn't a dream, maybe that was a nightmare... some dreams only really make sense in the context of actually being nightmares.



people say that cheese gives you nightmares... what happens when you have nightmares about cheese... is that like a supernatural nightmare...



and whats with supernatural horror movies.... oh... ooooh yeah.... m'bad.



so apparently there was a memo in 8th grade that girls were no longer evil, and that the cootie situation had been sorted out. i remember being the last to figure that out, maybe it was cos our family had a slow internet connection, i dunno. but i do remember a few years later, standing outside of a classroom, and there was this girl; she looked at me, and I looked back, but it wasn't some kind of friendly connection, she was giving me the evil-eye. who am I kidding, i don't even know what an evil-eye is... but that day did make me question the integrity of that memo. so maybe most girls have moved beyond evil, into maybe post-evil. but i guess its also possible that some are hitting evil a little later in life, so when all the other girls are being nice and have boyfriends and knit jumpers... there are some girls who are reaching prime-evil.

makes you wonder...



i had a girl smile at me the other day... that was scary.



so where are we on the cootie situation. ? anyone, anyone.





- - - - -

the dog is pretending to be friendly, it has laid itself down behind the chair i am sitting on, but i think i have figured out its game, previously on '24' it has jumped to attention as soon as I have made 'getting-out-of-chair' sounds.

but i have figured out her game. and just as soon as i think i'm the smart one, she gets up and leaves.



i'm going to leave all you beautiful people with a quote, an inspirational quote... a quote of such depth and precision...



"Never argue with an idiot!
They bring you down to their level,
and then beat you with experience..."

because this is for that/...

having rediscovered my blogspot, i shall continue simulcasting on myspace and blogger.


suckers...